I always wondered what she was thinking, like really thinking and not alone what the author wrote. Though I was always Team Edward and always wanted them to be together, and always defended her when someone called her stupid…off late I got thinking. It’s funny how much personal experiences make a change in your thought process.
What if Bella would have actually chosen Jacob? What if Edward had never returned? Would she have ever come to love Jacob the way she loves Edward? Then again, what if Jacob wasn’t as great as he was in the book? What if Jacob had never imprinted on Renesmee and was heartbroken as ever? What if Bella would have seen through his flaws and then realized how silly she was to make some choices she made as far as Jacob was concerned? What if…Edward and Jacob were best friends?
We can only guess, some answers closer to being right than others.
Bella loved Edward, and yes…he left. But that changed nothing. Cause she was altered beyond change by his mere existence. People judged her, Jacob judged her…for she never thought twice before he took Edward back. Because there really was no choice then. Her love for him was definitely more than her love for Jacob…but her need and attachment for Jacob was strong too. All that time Jacob wondered WHY it was that Bella wanted him when she couldn’t give him what HE wanted; Bella was selfish, justified in her selfishness too. When Edward left, it was Jacob who became her support system…but he could never become Edward. When Edward came back, nothing changed except that Jacobs’s indignation outgrew his love for Bella.
Bella forgave Edward. Took him back. Jacob hated her for that. He missed her yes, she missed him too. Yet mostly Jacob’s volatile attitude was what ruined it for himself. Something he never learned to control, and yet there was Bella forgiving him over and over…because of that bond that had formed over Edward’s absence, something Edward can NOT begrudge. Yet it was also on the downside that every time Bella forgave Jacob it encouraged him, and that wasn’t Bella’s fault. She was always clear with her feelings for him wasn’t she? And she accepted with all grace that it was selfish to want Jacob to be there even after Edward came back…
I know many people say that she got a kick out of his pain, that she was selfish and used him, that she was a bitch…To them I ask, look closely. Every time Jacob hurt, she hurt. Every time he said goodbye, she broke. Her love for Edward had its own place but it was the bond of friendship with Jacob that she never wanted to forego. Sure she understood when he made the choice of never coming back, and it hurt her too. Something Jacob was probably too immature to see…to believe. But I have to this one to him, his choice was his own and justified for himself. This selfishness was justified. And Bella would agree, hurt nevertheless.
I am deeply thankful for the fact that Jacob and Edward were not best friends. Then it would have been a plot only new in its usage once again since the dawn of time. Had that been the case…who would have been selfless enough to let go? Had that been…it would have been three hearts breaking…rather than two, if not for Bella then for each other.
I respect Jacob, and I respect Bella’s love for him. Even if the only way Bella loved Jacob was as a friend and wanted him to be there forever no matter what, I wouldn’t judge her…the same way I won’t judge Jacob for leaving when he did. It would be unfair for one to judge and the other one to be spared.
Had Jacob never imprinted on Renesmee, he probably would have been the same heartbroken boy he was through the first part of Breaking Dawn. He would have gone being on his own….a choice Bella should have, would have respected, even though it hurt (unknown to Jacob of course). Had Jacob been self righteous, and blamed Bella for all the pain he was going through because of her…well in the book she said “she deserved it”… maybe she did…maybe she didn’t. It depends on how far would Jacob had gone to make himself feel better by making her the bad bitch.
In real life, Edward isn’t the god like creature he is in the book. Jacob isn’t the selfless friend who came back. Bella isn’t the (un)clear headed girl.
This is real life, where Edward is selfish. Jacob is crazy. Bella is….torn and yet aware of what she wants and what she doesn’t want.
In real life, she is as confused about Edward as about Jacob.
This is real life. And He isn’t Edward. He isn’t Jacob. And you are not Bella.
And this is just a stupid rant.
A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
It Will Rain - Bruno Mars
No comments:
Post a Comment