So college starts in a couple of days and to my surprise it actually starts, as in the classes. I thought that, seeing that the results wasnt out as yet (something that has been bugging me A LOT!) the classes wont commence. Over the time i figured this thing about myself, i am a definite bunch of contradictions, a jumble which i have to sort out on my own; in this case i so wanted classes to start so that i can resume a routine to my life rather than sitting in front of the laptop the whole day and yet when i heard that classes are beginning i had a little "WTF! moment"! :
The thing is i have a lot of things going on in my mind right now! and this new beginning isnt something i want to mar with crazy thoughts, thinking too much, worrying about things that happened over the past two months of holidays; for me its a new beginning which should begin with a new playlist, consisting of There she goes, Semi Charmed life, Complicated, Walking on sunshine, Annie's song, Delta Dawn etc etc! But even that seems a lil dicey to me now seeing that i have this terryfying condition devoloping: pain in head when i connect it to my earphones, also stimulated by loud sudden noises, AND most disturbing long phone calls on my cell phone, seriously man I am a medical guniea pig waiting to be examined! :) Moving past this, i have books to buy, notebooks to get ready, wardrobe to figure out, ummm....and of course, have ENOUGH sleep! cause i really dnt want to be the "guy who sleeps like CRAZY this term too!" :p (imagine ths: i used to actually bunk classes to sleep, this morning i woke up on time felt my warm bed and the cool air conditioned air and went back to sleep, later on apologising to joshi maam over the call for nt being able to mk it! obv she dint mind! m her lil goblin! :) :p )
I have things to keep me going too, i have a dignity to walk with, a respect for myself which i will go to infinite limits to preserve, i know when to stop pushing at something, rather some one who is just too shameless to change. I cant go around teaching people what friendship is. And i cant definitely cant teach people how to love, or love right, all i can do is my best to rescue and save that one who is being subjected to that love gone terribly wrong so much so that we question its genuinity. My best efforts have been into making my friend understand that like me she too needs to start this new term like a leaf born in the falling rain...afresh.
I know i screwed my second year badly, maha-badly, and i know too that my result is gna show that. But i also know that there is nothing at all i can do about that result but just that i can make the next years better. I have an inspiration, a motive which i dunno if i will go through or not, but if not that, then definitely something else...thats another story. :)
This is Ashish Dutta, walking down the street with huge smile on his face (making people wonder "whats wrong with him!"), dancing to the songs pumping through his ears into his blood, knowing that things will be good, no matter what people try, things can always be good for u, you can make them good for yourself, no matter if friends screw it up by talking shit or not talking to you cause you make them see their faults, no matter if the one you "love" isnt near at the moment, no matter if the future is dark and hazy...there will always be F.R.I.E.N.D.S to watch, hot choclate to drink (mixed with coffee), weekend to sleep into, music to listen to, books to read, and imaginations to build into memories... =)
This is Ashish Dutta hopefully sticking to all that he said, hopefully making it good for himself...and the people around him who make his world! =)
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